


this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

by giucorreias



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: (sort of), Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 16:23:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12112596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giucorreias/pseuds/giucorreias
Summary: it's the small details





	this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

**Author's Note:**

> um, hi
> 
> so first, as always, i am not a native speaker of english and if you find any mistakes please let me know. this has not been beta read
> 
> this is just a ficlet and i realized that once again i'm in this fandom with a fic that has the title from a poem. this time it's from "i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)" from e. e. cummings, which is actually my theme in the challenge and i just thought this poem needed a soulmate au
> 
> basically they share some sort of telepathic bond in which neil knows things about andrew (and vice-versa). it has the whole schmuck, visions, dreams, shared tastes, etc.
> 
> i hope you like it?

It’s a beautiful morning. Neil knows because he has heard a woman say it in the TV, not because of any conclusion of his own. He’s seen the blue sky through the small window on his bedroom, and wonders if it’s the sky’s color that defines the day.

  
He does not wonder for long.

Downstairs, his father says something. Loud. His mother answers in the same tone. Neil closes his eyes, fighting the tears. Something breaks. Neil hears a slapping sound. He hides inside the wardrobe, a nook he is already too big to fit comfortably, and holds very still.

  
He takes his teddy bear with him—the one he named Andrew.

 

. 

It’s the small things.

  
He recognizes the taste of food he’s never eaten before, he craves sweets he never knew existed. He dreams of blond hair and hazel eyes and legs dangling under the dark sky. On one distinct occasion, he panics because of the height.

  
He tells his mother about it, once.

  
She makes him promise to never speak of it ever again, and then he’s running and there isn’t much time to think about this.

 

.

He becomes different people over and over, choosing different names and different faces. They’re from New York, they’re from Florida, his father is dead, his father left them, his father travels a lot. He wants to go by Andrew at some point, but his mother doesn’t let him. She looks at him disappointedly, and when he insists she denies him sharply.

  
“Don’t drag him into this,” she tells him.

  
Neil does not understand.

 

. 

He dreams of sharp blades and a pain that does not match his insides.

  
He wakes up crying, sometimes, and manages to hide it for months before his mother catches him at it. She slaps him out of it.

  
“You have to let him go,” she insists.

  
He doesn’t want to: it’s bad, but it’s what keeps him moving forward. It’s a heavy presence on the back of his mind, on the depths of his heart. It’s the name he sometimes doodles on the corners of his notebooks during class, or the chocolates he steals when his mother is distracted, or the hair dye he favors whenever they have to change faces again.

 

.

She never manages to make Neil abandon him completely, even if he lets go of most of it. It becomes the name he mutters to himself after a bad day, like a promise.

  
He does not know what the promise is.

  
He does not care.

 

.

Once Mary dies—once his father kills her—it’s what stops him from following after her. It’s what makes his feet move forward and leave her behind. It’s the heavy feeling, the faint presence, the taste of ice-cream, the smell of smoke.

  
It’s exy, in a way he doesn’t really understand.

 

. 

And when they meet—when they meet and Neil knows—

  
It’s inevitable.

**Author's Note:**

> you can come talk to me on my [tumblr](http://giucorreias.tumblr.com)


End file.
